Hello there lovelies, thank you so much for stopping by It's been quite a long time since I blogged so I'm quite rusty but please do bear with me and I hope you find something in here that will be of some use to you!
This blog is really an idea I have been toying around with for a long, long time and to be honest it is one I struggled to pluck from various thought processes and to formulate and write down into one coherent form. I also didn't really know how to write this without vesting too much of myself within the words although I quickly learned that to write something like this, my story and my experiences were always going to be bound up within the words and hey that's okay. The inspiration to finally write this post came from watching the brave and beautiful Ellen Page's speech at the Time to Thrive Conference in which her words of truth and wisdom really struck a chord with me and so nevertheless here we are.
Many times in life I've found myself holding back important aspects of my personality, or not speaking when I really wanted to, or have been afraid to admit to liking something for fear of not being accepted or for being judged, Now I know this sounds preposterous but nonetheless for a good portion of my life I feel as though I've been 'holding back.' And for what? For whose benefit did my silence serve? Because it certainly wasn't my own! This is what I believe it means to compromise yourself, to either stay silent about things that matter to you or to feel obligated to go along with or adopt someone else's definition of something because you feel as though you will be judged or ridiculed were you to disagree. I believe certainly in my own experience that the need to compromise stems from a belief that you are not perfect or not normal enough to be accepted and let me tell you most ardently that you are!
I for one am sick of feeling like I cannot live the life I want to lead or cannot show the parts of my personality that I feel make me different. I am beyond sick of the self punishing, self loathing and self oppression that comes from having to compromise or keep parts of yourself silent. It is both soul destroying and soul crushing to and I refuse from this point on to keep silent for fear of upsetting or simply disagreeing with someone else.
This is your life and you deserve every chance and possibility to love and be loved, but you have got to start with yourself. Treat yourself with the same love and respect you would anyone else and you'll have a lifelong companion and comfort. To deviate away from myself for a while(thankfully!) I thought I would share with you some advice and some thoughts that have been floating around in this dusty old vessel of a brain of mine.
Reasons to not compromise who you are :
(1) You have a comfort zone, you know exactly when you feel safe and what makes you uncomfortable. Everybody has got a comfort level and nobody, no matter who they are likes to be pushed over their limit. Nobody should ever make you feel guilty about your comfort zone. No one should ever push you beyond your limits to make you feel unsafe or uncomfortable. If you compromised yourself to fit someone else's demands you leave yourself open to the backwash of regret and guilt that ensues but also to a situation that you could potentially be very uncomfortable in. Do not be afraid to say no! This is your life. Your body. Your mind. Your morals. Your beliefs. If someone does not respect your comfort zone and what makes you feel comfortable and safe, please do not compromise yourself for someone like that!
(2) You like what you like and you are under no obligations to defend or define that choice! Regardless of whether you like the cheesiest music ever made or the darkest music on the planet. Whether you watch horror movies, or blockbusters or independent movies that no one else has even heard of, if it makes you happy then there is no reason why you should feel obligated to feel embarrassed by your choices. So society says what you like is embarrassing...Well who asked society anyways? I certainly didn't! And if I want to dance around to Mika in my Pyjamas, I will! (Thank you very much society)
(3) There are enough people in the world willing to drag you down, dampen your spirits and criticise everything you do. If you continue to compromise yourself and your own happiness you effectively become your own worst critic. To feel like you are constantly suppressing aspects of yourself can be so oppressive and tiring! The sad reality of life is that we don't live in a perfect world where we acknowledge a person's beauty and merits without judgement, without prejudice and racism and every unjust judgement we humans possess. People are going to judge you no matter what, so why not make it something you stand for or believe! If nothing else at least give 'em something to talk about kid!
Until next time my lovelies, please take care out there! Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and I hope you leave here with just a flicker of that defiance I felt when writing this piece. It doesn't matter who you are or where you come from you matter and you are worth something, please don't compromise on the amazing person you can be!
I'll leave you with my little piece of cheesy happiness to dance around to it is We are Golden by Mika..pyjamas are not required but they are recommended ;)
-Tasha x
#NoCompromise.
Saturday, 15 February 2014
Wednesday, 30 October 2013
Tasha's Musings About. . . Loneliness
The thing about loneliness that is deceiving to me, is the name. I mean just look at the word, the root of it is the word "Lone," which signifies that loneliness comes about because you are alone. Which if you're reading this now you're probably thinking obviously, that is the point is it not? But this is not always the case.
Let me put it to you this way, have you ever been at a party or in school, work or University surrounded by people, or even friends whom you love and still felt unequivocally and absolutely alone? You're not physically alone, you're surrounded by people so how could you possibly be lonely? But you very easily can! Now I am no expert in human psyche or psychology but I know that it is so easy to feel alone in today's society, to know that there are people who love and care for you, whom are only a message away, but to not be able to send that message as a sense of loneliness so strong takes place that you feel like there is no one in the world who could possibly understand you...That you and you alone are the only one on this whole planet who could possibly understand how you are feeling. This is loneliness!
Sometimes it's worst that this, sometimes you simply do not know why you feel lonely or alone...You just, do!
There is a line from the movie "A Cinderella Story," which I feel truly sums up what I am trying to say in the usual complex Tasha way, but it is basically this "I can be surrounded by a sea of people and still feel all alone,"
So where I'm going with this whole thing is that you do not have to be physically alone to feel lonely. It's perfectly normal to feel alone sometimes. It's perfectly normal to feel like you are the only person in the whole world who understands you, and maybe you are but that doesn't mean you shouldn't let people try to!
Here's what I've learned in my short time on this Earth,life and opportunities will not come to you, you must seize them! If you feel like you are alone please remember there are millions of people on this beautiful planet all of whom have or will feel alone and lonely at some point in their lives, you are not alone. I'm not alone!
As horrible as the feeling is, it is inevitable! (Unfortunately) But just remember in life there will be good times and bad times, happy and sad times and sometimes you will feel like the loneliest person in world, but hang in there kid you're never, ever alone!
And so to finish and to show it's not all doom and gloom, I want to leave you with one more quote from Babe Ruth that's also used in "A Cinderella Story,"
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Thank you so much for reading! ♥ Until next time my lovelies stay safe, enjoy life and remember you are not alone,
Tasha
Let me put it to you this way, have you ever been at a party or in school, work or University surrounded by people, or even friends whom you love and still felt unequivocally and absolutely alone? You're not physically alone, you're surrounded by people so how could you possibly be lonely? But you very easily can! Now I am no expert in human psyche or psychology but I know that it is so easy to feel alone in today's society, to know that there are people who love and care for you, whom are only a message away, but to not be able to send that message as a sense of loneliness so strong takes place that you feel like there is no one in the world who could possibly understand you...That you and you alone are the only one on this whole planet who could possibly understand how you are feeling. This is loneliness!
Sometimes it's worst that this, sometimes you simply do not know why you feel lonely or alone...You just, do!
There is a line from the movie "A Cinderella Story," which I feel truly sums up what I am trying to say in the usual complex Tasha way, but it is basically this "I can be surrounded by a sea of people and still feel all alone,"
So where I'm going with this whole thing is that you do not have to be physically alone to feel lonely. It's perfectly normal to feel alone sometimes. It's perfectly normal to feel like you are the only person in the whole world who understands you, and maybe you are but that doesn't mean you shouldn't let people try to!
Here's what I've learned in my short time on this Earth,life and opportunities will not come to you, you must seize them! If you feel like you are alone please remember there are millions of people on this beautiful planet all of whom have or will feel alone and lonely at some point in their lives, you are not alone. I'm not alone!
As horrible as the feeling is, it is inevitable! (Unfortunately) But just remember in life there will be good times and bad times, happy and sad times and sometimes you will feel like the loneliest person in world, but hang in there kid you're never, ever alone!
And so to finish and to show it's not all doom and gloom, I want to leave you with one more quote from Babe Ruth that's also used in "A Cinderella Story,"
.jpg)
Thank you so much for reading! ♥ Until next time my lovelies stay safe, enjoy life and remember you are not alone,
Tasha
Friday, 18 October 2013
Tasha's Musings About . . . Life?
Ok so quite recently I have been seriously pondering the meaning of life, not just the physical living/breathing aspect of life, but also what it actually means to be alive. What it means to exist as a solitary human being on this planet which is a small one in a vast universe of planets. Is there a purpose to human existence? Does fate exist or are our lives up to chance and the decisions we make? The truth is I do not have answers for these questions and I could not possibly begin to describe what has led me to the point where I have been literally driving myself insane in what can only be described as one huge Existential Crisis where I'm not sleeping and barely eating.
What on earth is an Existential Crisis? I here you ask..
Well basically an Existential Crisis can be a moment or indeed a prolonged period of time where you question the very essence, fibre and foundations of your being! Who are you? What are you doing with your life? Where are you going? Why are you here? Are you truly happy? Is there a reason for human existence? What is the meaning of life? And the truth is you will drive yourself insane. We as humans just simply do not have the answers to these questions. There is no guide book to human existence, no set of rules that if you follow meticulously will lead you to inevitable happiness.
At some point or other in your life you will encounter these questions, maybe not to the full extend of an Existential Crisis but the thoughts will certainly cross your mind. You will question both yourself and the meaning of life countless times throughout your existence, and as stated before there are no answers and no reassurance to distract from that fact that in life these questions are inevitable.
So what then can we do when we get these doubts and feelings?
We struggle on. If there is one thing I am certain of it is the resilience of human beings and human nature. If you are truly unhappy then maybe it's time to make that change you've always dreamed. Without sounding cliched or feeding into the whole "YOLO," culture, you do only live once so we've got to make the best of the time we've got here for the short time we are here and that means soldiering on and not dwelling on these feelings for too long :)
If you have read this, well thank you so much and thank you kindly for taking the time ♥. If you yourself have gone trough or are experiencing an Existential Crisis, I feel your pain and understand how frustrating it is to literally ponder the point of existence and to try and remove all this doubt and uncertainty in your mind, one thing is for sure though..things can only get better! So hang in there :)
Until Next Time Lovlies,
Tasha.
What on earth is an Existential Crisis? I here you ask..
Well basically an Existential Crisis can be a moment or indeed a prolonged period of time where you question the very essence, fibre and foundations of your being! Who are you? What are you doing with your life? Where are you going? Why are you here? Are you truly happy? Is there a reason for human existence? What is the meaning of life? And the truth is you will drive yourself insane. We as humans just simply do not have the answers to these questions. There is no guide book to human existence, no set of rules that if you follow meticulously will lead you to inevitable happiness.
At some point or other in your life you will encounter these questions, maybe not to the full extend of an Existential Crisis but the thoughts will certainly cross your mind. You will question both yourself and the meaning of life countless times throughout your existence, and as stated before there are no answers and no reassurance to distract from that fact that in life these questions are inevitable.
So what then can we do when we get these doubts and feelings?
We struggle on. If there is one thing I am certain of it is the resilience of human beings and human nature. If you are truly unhappy then maybe it's time to make that change you've always dreamed. Without sounding cliched or feeding into the whole "YOLO," culture, you do only live once so we've got to make the best of the time we've got here for the short time we are here and that means soldiering on and not dwelling on these feelings for too long :)
If you have read this, well thank you so much and thank you kindly for taking the time ♥. If you yourself have gone trough or are experiencing an Existential Crisis, I feel your pain and understand how frustrating it is to literally ponder the point of existence and to try and remove all this doubt and uncertainty in your mind, one thing is for sure though..things can only get better! So hang in there :)
Until Next Time Lovlies,
Tasha.
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