Hello there lovelies, thank you so much for stopping by It's been quite a long time since I blogged so I'm quite rusty but please do bear with me and I hope you find something in here that will be of some use to you!
This blog is really an idea I have been toying around with for a long, long time and to be honest it is one I struggled to pluck from various thought processes and to formulate and write down into one coherent form. I also didn't really know how to write this without vesting too much of myself within the words although I quickly learned that to write something like this, my story and my experiences were always going to be bound up within the words and hey that's okay. The inspiration to finally write this post came from watching the brave and beautiful Ellen Page's speech at the Time to Thrive Conference in which her words of truth and wisdom really struck a chord with me and so nevertheless here we are.
Many times in life I've found myself holding back important aspects of my personality, or not speaking when I really wanted to, or have been afraid to admit to liking something for fear of not being accepted or for being judged, Now I know this sounds preposterous but nonetheless for a good portion of my life I feel as though I've been 'holding back.' And for what? For whose benefit did my silence serve? Because it certainly wasn't my own! This is what I believe it means to compromise yourself, to either stay silent about things that matter to you or to feel obligated to go along with or adopt someone else's definition of something because you feel as though you will be judged or ridiculed were you to disagree. I believe certainly in my own experience that the need to compromise stems from a belief that you are not perfect or not normal enough to be accepted and let me tell you most ardently that you are!
I for one am sick of feeling like I cannot live the life I want to lead or cannot show the parts of my personality that I feel make me different. I am beyond sick of the self punishing, self loathing and self oppression that comes from having to compromise or keep parts of yourself silent. It is both soul destroying and soul crushing to and I refuse from this point on to keep silent for fear of upsetting or simply disagreeing with someone else.
This is your life and you deserve every chance and possibility to love and be loved, but you have got to start with yourself. Treat yourself with the same love and respect you would anyone else and you'll have a lifelong companion and comfort. To deviate away from myself for a while(thankfully!) I thought I would share with you some advice and some thoughts that have been floating around in this dusty old vessel of a brain of mine.
Reasons to not compromise who you are :
(1) You have a comfort zone, you know exactly when you feel safe and what makes you uncomfortable. Everybody has got a comfort level and nobody, no matter who they are likes to be pushed over their limit. Nobody should ever make you feel guilty about your comfort zone. No one should ever push you beyond your limits to make you feel unsafe or uncomfortable. If you compromised yourself to fit someone else's demands you leave yourself open to the backwash of regret and guilt that ensues but also to a situation that you could potentially be very uncomfortable in. Do not be afraid to say no! This is your life. Your body. Your mind. Your morals. Your beliefs. If someone does not respect your comfort zone and what makes you feel comfortable and safe, please do not compromise yourself for someone like that!
(2) You like what you like and you are under no obligations to defend or define that choice! Regardless of whether you like the cheesiest music ever made or the darkest music on the planet. Whether you watch horror movies, or blockbusters or independent movies that no one else has even heard of, if it makes you happy then there is no reason why you should feel obligated to feel embarrassed by your choices. So society says what you like is embarrassing...Well who asked society anyways? I certainly didn't! And if I want to dance around to Mika in my Pyjamas, I will! (Thank you very much society)
(3) There are enough people in the world willing to drag you down, dampen your spirits and criticise everything you do. If you continue to compromise yourself and your own happiness you effectively become your own worst critic. To feel like you are constantly suppressing aspects of yourself can be so oppressive and tiring! The sad reality of life is that we don't live in a perfect world where we acknowledge a person's beauty and merits without judgement, without prejudice and racism and every unjust judgement we humans possess. People are going to judge you no matter what, so why not make it something you stand for or believe! If nothing else at least give 'em something to talk about kid!
Until next time my lovelies, please take care out there! Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and I hope you leave here with just a flicker of that defiance I felt when writing this piece. It doesn't matter who you are or where you come from you matter and you are worth something, please don't compromise on the amazing person you can be!
I'll leave you with my little piece of cheesy happiness to dance around to it is We are Golden by Mika..pyjamas are not required but they are recommended ;)
-Tasha x
#NoCompromise.
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